You are currently browsing the Prankies Blog blog archives for December, 2010.
It’s a subject often ignored, the elephant in the chat room, but now this brave and bold video is finally confronting the dreaded blight that is corrupting the nation and destroying families throughout the world.
Yes, it’s the evil that is social networking and how it’s tearing babies away from their mother’s teat and eradicating the very moral fibre that keeps society from eating each other’s faces off.
I can ‘almost’ guarantee that you have never seen the like of this before, i’m surprised that we haven’t seen more of this, the internet could almost be made for this kind of content – Amazing!
It’s SO simple, a girl, a bedroom, some music, dancing & some fine examples of the female form! I can see this sort of thing catching on! remember, you saw it here first!
Nowt more impressive than shit getting blown up, is there? If your answer was “nope” then you were so wrong. Because there is something more impressive than shit getting blown up. And that’s shit getting blown up in slow-mo.
Not literally shit, that would be pretty gross, but things like an Xbox exploding into fragments to symbolise the death of console gaming or some such semantic craziness. Anyway, kudos to the photographer Dan Saelinger, it’s short but so very, very sweet.
You know it’s Christmas when the epic meal guys build a house made from the succulent flesh of a smorgasbord of slaughtered animals; including bacon, bacon, sausages, bacon, ham, pork meat, bacon, beef, bacon…om.
Just remember many animals were necessarily killed to feed these gluttonous meat-eating monsters. The New Year can only hold metabolic self-destruction, ruptured hearts, and solidified intestines for these brave men and women. Let’s hope they continue their honourable search for death by fast food seppuku.
Have you heard about that new movie coming out with Natalie Portman, where she’s a ballet dancer who loses her mind? Yeah, me neither. But there is one and it’s got a Portman/Mila Kunis cud-munching scene.
Starting to sound a little more intriguing now, huh? Well, don’t bother going to see it, got that sex scene for you right here. How’s that for money saving ideas over the festive season? Happy perving.
When you’ve just made the beast with two backs, done some horizontal jogging, played hide the sausage, then you want the world to know about it, right?
And what better way to express your virility than to put that hot love action into a song and shout it from the rooftops; let your friends know, your parents, your wife.
Social networking, Amazon, YouTube, FourSquare, all the usual suspects are here, relating the story of Jesus’s birth through the medium of intertubes.
I’ve always thought, if you were Joseph wouldn’t you be pissed at God for getting your wife pregnant. Yeah sure you’re the Almighty but that doesn’t mean you can go messing with someone’s wife. Omnipotent or not, you just don’t do that.
Some things are beyond satire. Neti Pot is one of them. “A special “Neti Pot” is filled with warm, slightly salted water and the spout of the pot is inserted into one nostril. The position of the head and pot are adjusted to allow the water to flow out of the other nostril. The technique is not as hard or uncomfortable as one may think at first.
Every thing has its extreme version. Ironing? There’s extreme ironing where crazy people do it under water and on the edge of a Great White’s teeth. And now, behold! Extreme neti potting. Total WTF!?!
Way to ruin your macho reputation Mr Putin. Usually he walks into a room and grown Hulks start whimpering with fear, and now he’s playing “Blueberry Hill” on the piano. Go. Figure.
What next, is he going to set up an orphanage for abandoned kittens, while nursing baby pandas on his pale white teats? I wonder if he takes requests, cos I’d sure like to see his rendition of Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best”.
So, can you? Have you tried it? Go on, give it a go, it’s difficult, huh? Well not for these guys, they’re the masters of loling without upturning the sides of their mouths.
OK, so they look like a couple of stroke victims having a fit, but so what, that’s the price you sometimes have to pay when you’re this awesome. Now try watching this video and laughing without smiling.
So, it now seems the iPad is the musical instrument du jour for the discerning pop star about town. And playing live? Forget using a stage, that was so 1998.
Now it’s all about an impromptu gig at your local mobile phone retailer, preferably you have a friend who works there and can grant you access to the iPad store cupboard. More street than concrete!
They were always onto a winner with this show. Take some cute wild animals going about whatever it is wild animals do, usually eating or moving their mouths just waiting for the BBC to come along and dub some silly voices over the top.
Hey presto you have a Saturday early evening filler and the only real cost is that Twitter-pervert Jason Manford and his Charlie Big Spuds paycheck. Oh, and remember to get shots of meerkats, standing. People go absolutely screaming nutzoid, lol-their-own-face-off for a standing, talking meerkat.
Even superheroes can be a total git at times. They go around blowing stuff up, usually no one cares because it’s Gotham City, and we all know they’ve got bags of money so they can rebuild it ten times over, but when they go around blowing up Ken Barlow’s local. Well.
And not just blowing up the pub either but letting Commissioner Gordon use the Tumbler to completely wreck a fictional town in Greater Manchester, destroying the inhabitant’s lives. You wouldn’t get Superman doing that. Shame on you Bruce. Shame on you.
Nick Clegg, a man who’s a walking contradiction, a man who sounded the death knell for his party. Ho ho. Ah well, not that it really matters, all politicians are full of shit and Nicky here is no exception.
Or maybe this was his plan all along, and he was a sleeper agent planted by the Conservatives to destroy the Lib Dems annihilating their party from British politics forever, turning generation iRiot into anarchists — in which case he’s been a roaring success. Bravo.
