The special effects master, Freddie Wong, teams up with the epic meal guy to make epic special effects. So you get a storm of guns raining down, planets taking up the sky, and lots of cool cars and helicopters.
It all adds up to a pretty awesome street, the sort of street where Chuck Norris might own a house, except his street would definitely have the lesbians in the sky.
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We’ve all seen that Dead Island trailer. It’s heart breaking stuff, especially if you’re a sucker for some emotional piano music and a good old zombie infestation– two things which are a winning combo.
And now, here comes the literal interpretation. Watch it and feel all depressed and stuff. Those damn undead, so uncaring and flesh hungry.
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Even in the Galactic Empire’s tool of planetary destruction, the Death Star, they’ve got to eat. Darth may sound like he could inhale soup but he needs his nourishment, what with all the choking and throwing.
And where do they go? Why the Death Star canteen, of course. And it’s just like any other canteen; noisy, busy, with slops being served up by people who haven’t got a clue. Eddie Izzard knows all about it.
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This is a cheery cock-er-nay! number, so gather together the ‘ole faaaaamlee, get ‘em daaan the apples and pears for a roight ‘ole knees-up round the piano.
Because Marky Mark from ‘tenders hasn’t got AIDS, eeees HIV postive. You dig? He’s got the virus, but he ain’t got the disease. A-one, a-two, all-together….!
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The queen of Radio 4 turns into an alien queen, of sorts, by birthing a blood-coated fleshy monster live on national TV, while Sigourney Weaver looks on with affection. And it’s a pretty impressive feat.
But then, that’s what years of working on the “sound of middle England” does for you. It’s a great training ground for all sorts of alien breeding. And to find out about cheese-making in Berwick-upon-Tweed.
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The abominations perpetrated against the Queen’s English are manifold. Remember it’s pavement, not sidewalk. It’s crisps not chips. It’s rubbish not garbage. It’s football not soccer. It’s yo mum is a hyena, not yo mom.
But let’s not fight about it, instead let Baba Brinkman and Professor Elemental fight it out amongst themselves. In a rap battle.
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The big society, huh? How about that. Volunteering yourself to do the jobs you should be getting paid for because the government wants to save money, while keeping themselves at the top of that money pile.
Hypocrisy never seemed so easy. How do the Tories do it? They’re masters of looking like complete posh shits.
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Nothing smashes it like Ugandan action movies. So thank your lucky action stars because you are about to witness the kung-fu, motorbike gun fight awesomeness of RAmon film production’s latest masterpiece.
The only thing that could make this more bad to the ass is Chuck Norris making a guest appearance as an African dictator who’s 50ft tall and has bazookas for arms.
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