You are currently browsing the Prankies Blog blog archives for February, 2011.
The special effects master, Freddie Wong, teams up with the epic meal guy to make epic special effects. So you get a storm of guns raining down, planets taking up the sky, and lots of cool cars and helicopters.
It all adds up to a pretty awesome street, the sort of street where Chuck Norris might own a house, except his street would definitely have the lesbians in the sky.
We’ve all seen that Dead Island trailer. It’s heart breaking stuff, especially if you’re a sucker for some emotional piano music and a good old zombie infestation– two things which are a winning combo.
And now, here comes the literal interpretation. Watch it and feel all depressed and stuff. Those damn undead, so uncaring and flesh hungry.
Even in the Galactic Empire’s tool of planetary destruction, the Death Star, they’ve got to eat. Darth may sound like he could inhale soup but he needs his nourishment, what with all the choking and throwing.
And where do they go? Why the Death Star canteen, of course. And it’s just like any other canteen; noisy, busy, with slops being served up by people who haven’t got a clue. Eddie Izzard knows all about it.
This is a cheery cock-er-nay! number, so gather together the ‘ole faaaaamlee, get ‘em daaan the apples and pears for a roight ‘ole knees-up round the piano.
Because Marky Mark from ‘tenders hasn’t got AIDS, eeees HIV postive. You dig? He’s got the virus, but he ain’t got the disease. A-one, a-two, all-together….!
The queen of Radio 4 turns into an alien queen, of sorts, by birthing a blood-coated fleshy monster live on national TV, while Sigourney Weaver looks on with affection. And it’s a pretty impressive feat.
But then, that’s what years of working on the “sound of middle England” does for you. It’s a great training ground for all sorts of alien breeding. And to find out about cheese-making in Berwick-upon-Tweed.
The abominations perpetrated against the Queen’s English are manifold. Remember it’s pavement, not sidewalk. It’s crisps not chips. It’s rubbish not garbage. It’s football not soccer. It’s yo mum is a hyena, not yo mom.
But let’s not fight about it, instead let Baba Brinkman and Professor Elemental fight it out amongst themselves. In a rap battle.
The big society, huh? How about that. Volunteering yourself to do the jobs you should be getting paid for because the government wants to save money, while keeping themselves at the top of that money pile.
Hypocrisy never seemed so easy. How do the Tories do it? They’re masters of looking like complete posh shits.
Nothing smashes it like Ugandan action movies. So thank your lucky action stars because you are about to witness the kung-fu, motorbike gun fight awesomeness of RAmon film production’s latest masterpiece.
The only thing that could make this more bad to the ass is Chuck Norris making a guest appearance as an African dictator who’s 50ft tall and has bazookas for arms.
OK everyone, are we sitting comfortably? Yes? It’s time for some edumacation courtesy of those brainy old boxes over at RSA Animate. Just how is language a looking glass into the soul, you ask?
Well, we use language to create the world around us. Much like an artist uses art to make arty stuff, we use language to abuse and harass people and get what the hell we want. At least, I think that’s what Steven Pinker meant.
Tom Guilmette was locked in a Las Vegas hotel room, so what does he do? The only sane thing he can do, he slows down time like Neo. Treating the world like his Matrix bitch.
Not literally of course but through his Phantom Flex camera, because one way to pass this time is to slow it down. Plus spitting water out of your mouth looks awesome shot at 2,564 frames per second.
By putting the zany, hyper theme music from Hawaii Five-O it adds a jazzed up fun time vibe to the whole galactic war thing. And to be honest, the films that could do with lightening up the most are those first three.
What with all that boring crap that took place in the senate, whaaaaat ever! But zingy music that makes you want to jump about and swing a lightsaber like a marching baton, now you’re talking.
“I say old chap, I’m terribly sorry to do this to such a spiffing fella as yourself, but you wouldn’t chuffing well like to give me the funds you have stashed away in that there till? Would be awfully bloody nice of you. Cup of Rosey Lee after will sort you right out, and I’ll jolly well come and pay you back when I can”
If only all hold-ups were as pleasant as this one. What a charming time they seem to be having, you almost forget he’s taking this man’s livelihood. Warms the cockles of your heart to see some good manners in the criminal underworld.
Who knew that fat chump from that excruciatingly insipid Halifax advert was such a fat ass MC, blud. Just check him and his crew out in the new Halifax ad where they’ve taken a different musical direction.
Instead of guffing about, high-fiving each other because their boss just creamed off another $6 billion bonus out of his limp todger, they’re keeping it street with a bit of the old dubstep. Ker-ching.
Most people think Fireman Sam is just some dumb kids’ TV show, featuring an animated Welsh fireman teaching the young ‘uns how to stifle a pan fire and live in small town communities without going on some murderous rampage.
But he’s actually a seminal hip-hop artist responsible for reigniting a stale scene with his groundbreaking hit ‘It’s Tricky”. Way before Goldie Lookin’ Chain made Welsh rap an international laughing stock. It’s all in the flame, yo.
