The news hasn’t sounded this good since The Day Today made a mockery of it way back over a 1000 years ago in the 1990s. Cassetteboy uses his cut and paste editing skills to take the “BBC out of context”.
If only the news was this amusing every day, or the least they could do is have Cassetteboy edit the previous day’s headlines into mega-lulz and run it at the end of the programme.
Internet troll Nimrod Severn spends his time popping up on RIP tribute sites and leaves offensive messages full of racist bile. What a lovely chap he is. So the BBC tracks him down and confronts him in the street Roger Cook-style.
Safe to say he’s a bit of an arrogant twat, but the best line comes at the end from the reporter. “So there you go, an internet troll–that’s what they look like”. Indeed.
In England kids moan about having to eat greens and not getting McD’s once a week. In the Venezualan jungle things are a little different. When kids want a snack, they can’t just go to the shop and buy a Kit Kat .
Instead they have to hunt down the world’s most venomous spider, a goliath birdeater which is the size of a dinner plate.
Matt’s a happy to help kind of guy, you know the sort who likes to offer a hand when he sees a woman carrying a heavy load or a tray with lots of drinks.
Thing is though, like most guys Matt’s got an ulterior motive. He’s happy to help, but just don’t mention the boyfriend. K?
No one does nature like the Big British Castle, and here they are in the Antarctica filming *dramatic music* the ice finger of DEATH!
As brine from the sea ice sinks, a ‘brinicle’ forms creating a web of ice that freezes everything it comes into contact with, and the sea floor gets royally f’d.
So many comedy shows come along and then disappear into the scrapheap of writers’ dreams, shut down by the fat cats because there wasn’t enough fart jokes.
Boo-fucking-hoo. Well this series of clips is from one such show, left to live on through the kindness of strangers who upload collections of compilation clips from the first and only season.
So your mate’s got a new girlfriend, she’s super hot, she’s seems smart, but there’s one little thing that could be a bit of a problem. He met her in a chatroom and it turns out she’s not quite the age he thought she was.
And not just a little younger either, but you know, say ten years. But who meets future girlfriends in a chatroom anyway? You’ve got to be some kind of desperate freak to be hanging around those places. Everyone knows stalking girls on Facebook is the classy thing to do.
It’s shocking in this world we live in, where you can’t even beat up an old lady in her home without submitting a health and safety application because you might hurt yourself breaking and entering and could sue the local council.
What has modern life come to? If you want to walk down the street, you can’t even kick an empty tin can without first making sure the can’s OK with you kicking it. So thank God for this rational conversation about the matter between these two great thinkers of our time.
Bloody women, sort yourself out! They go around, aching of stomach and with headaches moaning about how much pain they’re in. Pah! It’s pathetic, if only they knew the suffering that a man has to go through every time he gets a common cold. Now there’s pain.
They don’t even know they’re born, whereas men, they’re just bloody amazing, aren’t they? Valiant soldiers the lot of ‘em.
They were always onto a winner with this show. Take some cute wild animals going about whatever it is wild animals do, usually eating or moving their mouths just waiting for the BBC to come along and dub some silly voices over the top.
Hey presto you have a Saturday early evening filler and the only real cost is that Twitter-pervert Jason Manford and his Charlie Big Spuds paycheck. Oh, and remember to get shots of meerkats, standing. People go absolutely screaming nutzoid, lol-their-own-face-off for a standing, talking meerkat.
