You’d think that penguins have got it quite easy, hanging out and going for a swim every now and then.
But no, being a penguin is full of fail, as you can see from this compilation of them acting like drunk idiots.
I know he’s securely sealed in a pod made of metal and high impact plastic but my money is still on the huge carnivorous predator.
You’ve seen Jaws. Homie was in a secure steel cage, but determination and a big teeth are better than any can opener. Place your bets now!
If there’s one thing more terrifying than being ripped apart by an army of flesh-eating monsters from beyond the grave, it’s a feature film version of Location, Location, Location.
What could be more harrowing than having to sit through two hours of total numpties looking for a semi-detached in Tolworth. Brrrr.
Cowboys, dinosaurs in space, mech-warriors, baby angels, Daleks — if this trailer for series seven of Dr. Who doesn’t get you wet, then you need to check your pulse.
It looks like it’s going to be an epic season for fans of the doctor, along with some heartache too. What’s not to like?
If you watch the BBC’s Sherlock you’ll know how the world’s best detective can instantly analyse a scene just be looking at it.
But sometimes even the greatest mind on earth can get a bit confused. And sometimes stuff’s just there because, well, just because.
The news hasn’t sounded this good since The Day Today made a mockery of it way back over a 1000 years ago in the 1990s. Cassetteboy uses his cut and paste editing skills to take the “BBC out of context”.
If only the news was this amusing every day, or the least they could do is have Cassetteboy edit the previous day’s headlines into mega-lulz and run it at the end of the programme.
Internet troll Nimrod Severn spends his time popping up on RIP tribute sites and leaves offensive messages full of racist bile. What a lovely chap he is. So the BBC tracks him down and confronts him in the street Roger Cook-style.
Safe to say he’s a bit of an arrogant twat, but the best line comes at the end from the reporter. “So there you go, an internet troll–that’s what they look like”. Indeed.
In England kids moan about having to eat greens and not getting McD’s once a week. In the Venezualan jungle things are a little different. When kids want a snack, they can’t just go to the shop and buy a Kit Kat .
Instead they have to hunt down the world’s most venomous spider, a goliath birdeater which is the size of a dinner plate.
Matt’s a happy to help kind of guy, you know the sort who likes to offer a hand when he sees a woman carrying a heavy load or a tray with lots of drinks.
Thing is though, like most guys Matt’s got an ulterior motive. He’s happy to help, but just don’t mention the boyfriend. K?
No one does nature like the Big British Castle, and here they are in the Antarctica filming *dramatic music* the ice finger of DEATH!
As brine from the sea ice sinks, a ‘brinicle’ forms creating a web of ice that freezes everything it comes into contact with, and the sea floor gets royally f’d.
So many comedy shows come along and then disappear into the scrapheap of writers’ dreams, shut down by the fat cats because there wasn’t enough fart jokes.
Boo-fucking-hoo. Well this series of clips is from one such show, left to live on through the kindness of strangers who upload collections of compilation clips from the first and only season.
So your mate’s got a new girlfriend, she’s super hot, she’s seems smart, but there’s one little thing that could be a bit of a problem. He met her in a chatroom and it turns out she’s not quite the age he thought she was.
And not just a little younger either, but you know, say ten years. But who meets future girlfriends in a chatroom anyway? You’ve got to be some kind of desperate freak to be hanging around those places. Everyone knows stalking girls on Facebook is the classy thing to do.
It’s shocking in this world we live in, where you can’t even beat up an old lady in her home without submitting a health and safety application because you might hurt yourself breaking and entering and could sue the local council.
What has modern life come to? If you want to walk down the street, you can’t even kick an empty tin can without first making sure the can’s OK with you kicking it. So thank God for this rational conversation about the matter between these two great thinkers of our time.
Bloody women, sort yourself out! They go around, aching of stomach and with headaches moaning about how much pain they’re in. Pah! It’s pathetic, if only they knew the suffering that a man has to go through every time he gets a common cold. Now there’s pain.
They don’t even know they’re born, whereas men, they’re just bloody amazing, aren’t they? Valiant soldiers the lot of ‘em.
