Most of us probably don’t play chess to its full potential — in fact, most of us probably don’t play chess at all.
But in case you did decide to give this game of games a try, then watch this first before you become the Grandmaster of your house share.
Her Maj, the Maj-meister, General Majo, Queenie, the Boss — whatever you call her, she’s here to deliver a message to you, her loyal subjects.
So listen up and listen good because she’s got some great advice for us all and you won’t want to miss a word.
It doesn’t get better than four Finnish guys crammed into a rusty hunk of a car covering Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” on a series of brass instruments.
The only way it could get more epic is if Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar climbed out of the bonnet for a rousing, celebratory finale. Schwing.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! Queen’s greatest hit gets set to the visuals of the memetic internets. What it amounts to is nigh on perfection, featuring all your favs from around the tubes, like Forever Alone Guy, Aww Yea Guy, Poker Face — it’s like a high school reunion set to the tune of the 1970s.
For a song whose lyrics made no sense, now it all makes sense, it all becomes clear, the clouds have parted, there’s the sun. Is the real life? Mommaaaaaaaaa!
When meeting the Queen of England, it’s important to cock your leg out in the manner befitting a 12th century nobleman and then shuffle it about in a manner befitting a 21st raver. It’s just common decency and if you don’t do it, one may lose their head.
So if you ever find yourself before Her Majesty for any reason other than treason, then make sure you do the leg cock as an indication that the Shuffle of Honour is about to go down.
Just how much do those posh sods with plums stuck up their butts cost us mere plebians? How much is coming out of your hard-earned pay check so the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge can go sit on a island in the Indian Ocean and get waited ion hand and foot. Like they do at home, every day.
You ready for the blood to start bubbling? Well, it’s not quite as simple as all that. The Queen may take our tax money to live in opulence, but she earns her crust too. Still thinking off with her head?
The abominations perpetrated against the Queen’s English are manifold. Remember it’s pavement, not sidewalk. It’s crisps not chips. It’s rubbish not garbage. It’s football not soccer. It’s yo mum is a hyena, not yo mom.
But let’s not fight about it, instead let Baba Brinkman and Professor Elemental fight it out amongst themselves. In a rap battle.
It can be so confusing distinguishing between UK, Great Britain, and England. So probably the best way to do this is by the yellowing of their teeth and how Dickensian their accents are. The teeth come in various shades of yellow.
Putrid yellow means their English and they’ll probably ask you for a penny farthing for supper with a cup of hot cholera, guvnor. Great British means their teeth will be the colour of warm piss with breath like cancer. If they’re from the UK their teeth are the colour of nicotine with hair like a cesspit. Or you could watch this video, which is probably more accurate.
What can one do when one is surrounded by peasants, especially peasants who try to poke one’s wife through the open window of one’s Rolls-Royce. Bloody rotten ruffians, what?!
They should be hunted down like small woodland creatures and rounded up and put in a jolly big arena, stripped of their clothes and covered with jam while we set some flesh-eating safari ants on them. Tally ho!
Ok, so the new Star Wars films were no where near as good as the original ones. I know that, you know that, and George Lucas – if you gave him a few glasses of wine – would admit that as well. Despite them not being as legendary, there’s something all Star Wars films have in common. There are a lot of characters, and they can get fairly complicated what with all those planet names and politics.
This is a novel way to keep things informative, fun, and fresh. By integrating a choral Queen classic with the well-known franchise you have a decidedly high-pitched re-cap of the recent films. And what’s more, you can listen to this, and get straight to watching episodes 4-6 and enjoy some real quality films.
