So as we enter the final week of our existence and the countdown begins to the end of the world, lets take a moment to reflect on what advantages the Mayan prophecy has presented us with. Sure there might be erupting volcanoes and rivers of lava blocking our escape from the marauding zombies intent on getting a quick brain-snack before we all perish into the void.
But don’t let that put you off kissing that cute girl/boy/zombie you’ve secretly been in love with and max’ing’ out your credit cards as you shower them with anything it takes to get you laid. See, it isn’t all bad news!
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Remember Matt, the guy who danced around the world to make us all feel better about all the killing and hating going on?
Yeah, well he’s back and he’s off again, dancing with strangers so you don’t have to.
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Youtube’s Scooter Magruder lists 100 problems only suffered by residents of the first world.
Chances are you’re guilty of at least one of these and when you compare them to problems faced by third world countries you’ll feel like a total douche. Enjoy!
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People say that bungee jumping can be dangerous, or sky-diving without a parachute. Well, it’s nothing compared to the thrills and spills of this hardcore activity.
What is this daring sport, you enquire? Why, it’s the death-defying event that is the Pen Spinning World Tournament 2011. Be careful! That biro could spin out of control and have someone’s eye out.
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Some of us have useless skills like, I dunno, the ability to operate on the human brain or investigate the cosmos using innovative technologies. And then some of us have useful, valuable skills.
You know the sort, like God had singled this person out for a purpose, to advance the human race for the benefit of generations to come. And this man is one of those people. Because he can fit twenty quarters in his belly button.
Problem?
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The internet is a scary place, for many reasons, it’s a playground where you decide what happens, who you play with, and who you want to play with you. The possibilities are seemingly endless and that’s where the nightmare of realization rears it’s ugly head – What the HELL would you do if it wasn’t there?
It doesn’t bear thinking about, it’s always gonna be there, right? Getting bigger, better and faster every day, with more wonders to behold….. But what, yes, WHAT the hell would you do if you didn’t have the chance to log-in and tune out?
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Now this is the sort of sport I could really get into, I don’t want to see grown men kicking an evolved pig’s bladder about a field while they dive and prance about like a bunch of ballerinas.
Who gives a sh#t? I want to see gorgeous women shaking their soccer balls. Goal!
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