No doubt you have so much talent you’re overwhelmed by it, leaving you an inert slob stagnating in front of a computer screen. Well it’s time to stand proud and show the world the creative slob you really are.
If you can juggle rice while playing the banjo with your teeth, the world needs to see it. It’s imperative to everybody’s well being, especially yours.
So do your thing, record it and send it in. Unlike your physical health, don’t let your talents go to waste.
Now this is the sort of sport I could really get into, I don’t want to see grown men kicking an evolved pig’s bladder about a field while they dive and prance about like a bunch of ballerinas.
Who gives a sh#t? I want to see gorgeous women shaking their soccer balls. Goal!
I spend a lot of time smurfing the net, sometimes too much time and in the past it has become a bit of a problem, not just for me, but for those close enough to call me ‘friend’.
I’ve been around the block enough times to recognise that at times i am surfing just a little bit too close to what some psychotherapists might term ‘addiction’, and if i wanted to choose to believe them, then i would probably think they were right?
Just look at this, look how cute those little guinea pigs are. Bless, dressed up in their little clothes like furry Barbie dolls.
They look good enough to eat. But no one would be so barbarous, not after they had their little hats on.
And on the 8th day God created Ham. There was no particular reason for this in his mind other than to satisfy his desire to feel superbly smug when ever a mere mortal attempted to play it.
For God knew it would drive ordinary man mad and result in pain, humiliation and plenty of fail – For this made God happy, you see, it’s the little things that really please a divine spirit!
Anyway, it’s a bloody weird name for a fustratingly addictive game ! (I managed to get 1990 cm)