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Most male aftershave aspires to radiate an attractive scent that will drive the olfactory facilities of the average female wild with pure sexual want.
But real men smell differently, not like honeysuckle and jasmine on a spring dawn in the Costwolds. No, they smell of pies and stale farts and beer. Rawr!
We all know the perils of going on holiday: arguing with the other half about where to eat, buying tacky gifts that looked awesome in 90 degree heat, and being sat on by elephants. That last one can put a real damper on moving around and sightseeing and stuff, so do try to avoid it if you can.
But if you can’t, then at least get some insurance that covers getting trampled on by large land mammals. Epic Failage.
Nothing to see here, just an ass on wheels racing a mobile trainer. OK, I lied, there’s lots to see here as these two strange vehicles duke it out in the desert.
If you want to know why, then shame on you. The mystery of this weirdness is what makes it so fun, so don’t try and find out why this happened or who…OK, it’s a Diesel advert.
It doesn’t exactly blow your mind as it’s pretty obvious how they filmed it, but every so often it still tricks your eye into seeing things the wrong way up.
It might look like fun mucking about upside down but I bet it’s none too warm. If that was me I wouldn’t need a drill to get back out, I’d be able to cut my way through the ice using only my nipples!
Gordon F#CKING RAMSAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!! If you’ve just gone back to work and you feel a bit angry at the world for ruining your festive slumber, then why not take a leaf out of Mr Angry’s book?
So instead of treating your colleagues or subordinates as equals, look at them as common muck, pond life, lower than amoebas, the kind of runny dog shit you cross the street to avoid stepping in.
Whatever sick, degenerate disease that’s afflicted Jersey Shore has somehow become airborne and is now spreading at a rapid rate.
So be careful out there, because one day you’ll be a normal human being going to work and enjoying life, the next you’ll turn into one of these. The horror.
All those looking-back-at-the-year types shows and articles are generally pretty shitty, full of boring crap that you hated the first time round, let alone seeing it again.
But this is different, because it’s Cassetteboy and he makes famous people say funny stuff and swear, which is what the world needs more of. Have a LOL at 2011, it’s been a shitter of a year.
Nothing says it’s Christmas like the crew of HMS Ocean singing the Mariah Carey Christmas classic, draped in tinsel, dressed as presents, sitting on the toilet — it doesn’t matter what they do.
So come on, get those hands in the air, wave ‘em like you just don’t care and sing along with the guys and girls from the Royal Navy. Christmas No.1 ftw.
