This is one of the worst things to have in your basement, really difficult to get rid of once they settle in. Totally worse than an infestation of rats of cockroaches.
And the worst thing is, if you have an unnamable, unimaginable, creeping monstrosity lurking in your basement, don’t even bother going to the council to try and get them to help. Total waste of time.
Usually he’s so amiable and kid-friendly with his little black and white cat. And now look at him, he’s turned into an ugly manifestation of his former self, a bitter, twisted, hateful postman.
If your kids are into Postman Pat, then you’d probably be best to keep them away from your monitor while you laugh your balls off at this. If they catch one glimpse, it’ll scar their developing brains for life.
Just when you thought it was safe to go hiking without the fear of being abducted and having your mouth sewn to someone’s a-hole, along comes this, the sequel. And nothing really says it better than the official blurb:
“The story of a man who becomes sexually obsessed with a DVD recording of the first film in the series, The Human Centipede, and uses sandpaper to pleasure himself whilst watching the film. He decides to create a “human centipede” of his own, this time comprised of twelve victims as opposed to the first film’s three.” Scientifically inaccurate horror films. Fuck yeah.
Ahhh, Christmas, a time when families come together and enjoy the goodwill of the festive season, snuggle up inside their homes and feel safe from the elements and danger of the outside world – WRONG!!!
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the moment when it comes to decorating your home in the Christmas period. But did you know that 400 families get attacked by Christmas decorations every festive season. And that’s just in Wyoming.
WTF Japan? WTF!!!??? Does the whole country get baptised in lysergic acid? Even by William Burroughs’s standards this is fucking weird.
You need to watch Naked Lunch just to come down from this and feel normal.
