A truly momentous occasion that, really, warrants an international holiday. So we could all be at home getting handjobs; men and women, all creeds and colours, rich and poor, tall and short, ugly and beautiful, bespectacled and despectacled.

But, no. Ah well, at least you can have your own little celebration of Dr. Fred Gilgoff’s incredible invention. A man more important than Einstein, Newton, even Ronald McDonald.