You know how in Japan they always have to be just ahead of the curve, like with their flying robots and talking buildings and anime characters for president and all that. Well a three-legged race is like eating dry toast to them.
So, they get 31 children, tie their legs together and watch them race. If you thought your sports day was cool, then Japan just pwnd it.
If, like this young man, you’ve ever felt the burning desire to transform your mundane human form into the superheroic slendour of Ultra Seven (a Japanese superhero for those not in the know), then the Kinect is for you.
Don’t settle for some cheaply made costume with stomach pads from the local supermarket, instead use the virtual power of augmented reality and even execute his lazer-firing power. Hoooo!
This guy’s got some sweet skills, so good you’ll want to study the video in slow-motion just to see if he’s got a string attached to that ball he’s so miraculously twirling around his feet.
It doesn’t matter if he’s sitting down or standing up, he elevates kicking a ball to a fine art. AWESOME!
WTF Japan? WTF!!!??? Does the whole country get baptised in lysergic acid? Even by William Burroughs’s standards this is fucking weird.
You need to watch Naked Lunch just to come down from this and feel normal.
Some people might consider this a useless pursuit. Why would anyone watch Synchronised Walking when you have football or rugby. Well I for one am fascinated. I have respect for someone who can dribble past 2 Chelsea defenders, but it doesn’t come close to the admiration I have for these chaps.
Forget Rooney, it’s these lot that should be on £150,000 a week. Look at the way they march by, not even brushing each other. Absurd, maybe, but no more random and bizarre than 11 men chasing after a bit of leather.
