It’s a good job that KFC is more addictive than crack, otherwise this senile old Colonel might just have ruined their advertising campaign forever. He’s sure doing a good job of not reading whatever basic words were written on a piece of paper for him. Then again, there’s a good chance he’s getting high on his own supply and all that finger lickin chicken and vegetable fat has gone straight to his head.

He certainly sounds finger lickin’ly intoxicated. Cruspy? That’s not even a word. Sanders, did they not teach you English at fast food school? Lay off that popcorn chicken. Anyway – however poor this ad read through is, he’s always going to be immortalised on the side of KFC outlets. Lucky him.