Sushi gets a fast food bukake with Big Mac French fries bacon sushi, chicken nugget nigiri, and other artery clogging concoctions that will make you eyes turn into transfat holes of sludge just from watching the video.
I’m waiting for the day they go all out and eat salad leaves covered in cod liver oil, with soya granule sprinkles, aloe vera dip, sandwiched between whole wheat bread with a side of walnut halves. Next week, they fast.
Now there’s Freudian slips, there are mistakes and there’s spoonerisms. But this is just down right rude. And even worse is his attempt at covering up his indiscretion.
The clarity of the C-word is unparalleled. Planned I say. Since when has the letter ‘H’ been so close to ‘C’ that they bleed seamlessly into one another? Never, that’s what I say. Well, give the man credit. Everyone must want to say the worst word known to man live on radio. It’s Christmas come early.
Ah yes, the noble cause of highlighting the disgusting genocide of an entire people by a barbarous and fascist state. The systematic murder of millions of men, women, and children.
And then taking that, and practically farting in its lofty eyes by making a funny-voiced musical out of it. This time it’s Ralph Fiennes’s Nazi butcher Amon Goeth who gets the whimsical treatment. Lawl.
Finally we have some closure on the age old question of whether there is an invisible, omnipotent, all-seeing, all-knowing gas(?) up in the heavens. I mean, I was always unsure whether an utterly implausible notion of constant doubt and excuse could exist, and if a book written hundreds of years ago still held as much sway now as it did then. Yeah, there was a niggling question there.
The answer, from all places, comes from a humble watermelon. We’ve had slogans on the side of buses telling us there’s no god, and an ancient man called Richard Dawkins writing books about the topic, but seeds in a fruit does it for me. Now we can all get back to our miserable, meaningless existences safe in the knowledge there is less meaning than anyone ever thought. Huzarr.
Who knew that being a hand model was so important, you’d think it was just a job. Put some lotion on your hands, twirl them about a bit and watch the cheques roll in. Seems easy enough, just make sure you don’t slam them in a car door.
But no, this women is the very fabric keeping the universe together. They may well find her face and hands attached to elementary particles when they recreate the big bang at Cern. And stop it with the creepy smile already.
Meet Mr A.B.Green aka HLS Master, (that’s High Level Swag for all you normals out there). He’s the man who puts the imp in pimp, he puts the ass in badass.
If you see him chatting to your girlfriend, don’t worry, because a man like this can only repel anyone (or thing) he meets. Even animals will sense that this guy is a super douche of extremely epic proportions and will attack his eyes with a vicious, callous venom, should he get within 2 foot of them.
Mum’s on her way home, it’s been snowing so she might be in a bit of a shitty mood, cold and tired and all that crap. So as an adoring son it is only decent, no in fact it’s your duty, to build a giant snow cock to welcome her home.
Then her response when you tell her you’re putting a video of her reaction on YouTube will be one of maternal pride, a moment of bonding between the child-bearer and her offspring. This is the reason parents have children, for these special moments.
Well, well. Get your NSFW hunch on because this one’s not only got mutating naked flesh in it, but it’s weird as well. So not only will colleagues/loved ones/the cat think you’re a pervert, which they probably do anyway if they’ve ever looked at your search history.
But the morphing orgy of melting bodies growing out from one another will certainly put you on the 4chan-wouldn’t-even tolerate-this freak list. But don’t worry about all that, it’s worth it for the hot chicks.
