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In case you’ve been in a drugged up stupor, a lot went on this last weekend news wise. And one of the tragic events that took place was the death of Amy Winehouse.
And so this kind gentleman kindly penned this loving tribute to her. I’m sure it’ll make the harrowing incident all the more bearably for her family and friends. Or maybe not, aye.
OK, so Google’s attempt at social networking was launched a while back, but nobody thought to tell Dmitri — until now.
He’s always the last to know, but that’s not going to stop his amazed reaction. He’s its No. 1 fan, he fucking hates Facebook. And don’t even get him started on Twitter.
On Thursday July 21, 2011 space shuttle Atlantis landed in Cape Canaveral, Florida, ending NASA’s 30-year space shuttle program. And now, landing on Mars, colonising the moon, achieving cosmic enlightenment — all that is gone because of you.
Now because of that, the aliens are going to attack us and wipe us of the face of the cosmos. Well done everyone, you’ve ruined everything. Well done.
Less Darth Vadar, more Darth Gaydar as the mincing Carry On legend becomes the voice of the the leader of the dark side.
Obviously he doesn’t come across as quite so threatening, but it does mean he’ll be able to say things like “Oh, be-haaayyy-ve” and throw in innuendos about purple lightsabers at every opportunity.
We’ve seen the Murdochs and their adopted ginger hair-being sat in front of the Select Committee and now we finally know the truth! Well, we know Rupert Murdoch is pretty old and frail.
But at least it resulted in the closure of the News of the World, that’s one achievement. Remember The News of the World? It was a red top newspaper that used to hack dead girl’s mobiles.
Forget about the News of the World scandal, these people are the real bad guys of the world: Serco Group. Such are their nefarious activities that they even have a handle on time, controlling the very fabric that moves the universe onwards.
They must be stopped, and the only way to fight some bad guys of their magnitude is to rally round and get together a ragtag band of action heroes from down the ages. Send in John McClane, Ellen Ripley, Arnie, Chuck Norris’s evil eyes and mid-1990s Steven Segal.
For those times when Metallica are too bummed out with psychoanalytical blues to perform and rock the house down, they could always call upon the hairy wizardry of Bill Bailey.
OK, so it might feature a few more horns than their fans are used to, but so what. Enter Sandman? Enter Balding man.
When this rotten old life is getting you down and everything around you is crumbling away in the face of forces seemingly beyond your control, what do you do?
Do you just struggle onwards and hope that it’ll just improve or do you supp on a cup of brown joy, grin and kick life in the balls.
