The man has a point. Sports guys are always the most macho (aka homophobic) but it’s them that spend so much time in the company of bare male flesh. And how about all the ridiculous connotations linked to being gay. It’s all a bit medieval isn’t it?

Besides, he’s right. It doesn’t get more macho than shagging another man. To really prove you’re masculine and comfortable with your sexuality, you need to get with another bloke. Do it. Get bumming, or be forced to accept your homosexuality.

Read more

This is disturbing for many reasons. So many reasons. Firstly, there is no evidence whether this is a man or a woman. None whatsoever. Also, he/she is singing a Katy Perry song, and he/she looks strangely like a very, very fat Russel Brand.

Picture the scene – Russel starts using heroin again. Katy leaves him. He’s desperate, inconsolable. With no one to turn to, he begins eating, a lot. Then – in an attempt to win back the absent popstar, he makes this video and puts it onto the internet. Think of it as a modern day love letter. A viral piece of chivalry. I doubt it would work. So let us just point and laugh.

Read more

I could do that. Easy. Well, when I say I could do that, I actually I mean I absolutely cannot do that and could never do it in a million years even if I spent day and night practicing every little aspect of it in the hope of performing what we witness in the video.

It’s mind boggling. Also, when you see break dancers, they usually wear a little hat to protect their head when they do the spin thing. This guy doesn’t need one. Jeez, the muscles in his neck must be stronger than all the strength in my body put together. Well…I bet he can’t roll his tongue. I can.

Read more

School field trips are always debatable days of boredom, kids being sick on the coach and arguments. No one wants to be there, not the kids, the teachers, or the people involved at whereever you’ve decided to visit. Indeed, school trips should be crap. But never racist.

The story this fella tells is hilarious. Yeah it harks to the dark days of slavery and the old stereotypes of ‘cotton pickers’, but if you can recount the tale in this way, it’s pure stand up material. OK, I know, he’s sitting down. But Chris Rock, eat your heart out – this guy knows how to tell a story.

Read more

So this is why China produces better, miniaturized versions of the things we make. It’s because they’re smaller. Makes sense really. Smaller people make smaller, more efficient things. Simple.

I wish I could own an army of those guys to improve all aspects of my tech life. Or maybe just to clean my house for me. Surely Samsung can’t be the only ones to benefit. Forget cuts to spending and benefits, the government should introduce a team of mini workers to each household in Britain. We’d have more time to work and spend money, thus boosting the economy. Sounds viable to me.

Read more

Wow. If you were a lady dog, you know, a bitch, who had perhaps had a little too much fun and gone home with a questionable man dog, you would not want to wake up and discover it to look like this. Not only is it quivering, but some fairly ropey sounds are emanating from it’s nose and mouth.

Or maybe, as the title suggests, this dog is in fact possessed by some evil spirit. Maybe Satan himself. The dog version. Whatever the diagnosis, he’s pretty embarassed once he wakes up. Poor pooch.

Read more

There’s a message here. Always read the small print. Especially if you’re dealing with Hollywood stars. They’re used to getting anything they want, whenever they choose – whether that be a dozen white doves, a wellington filed with red M&Ms, or enough cocaine to fell a whale.

Danny De Vito ain’t no different, as this poor producer can attest. There’s a lot I’d do for my work, but male fellatio isn’t one of them. Then again…it IS Danny De Vito. Ah – what the hell.

Read more

Wouldn’t it be awesome if you knew exactly what your pets were thinking. If they could express their thoughts in logical sentences. Dog’s really would become a man’s best friend, as you could agree on stuff and discuss house matters.

Either that or it would just descend into a chaotic din. Your parakeet screeching complaints in the corner whilst the cat slags you off from behind as the goldfish sings hymns. Thinking about it, just watch this video. And be content with that. Animals are almost certainly better seen and not…spoken to.

Read more