So you’ve been out on a date, you both got on really well. She likes getting drunk and eating food at restaurants and, weirdly, so do you! You must be the only two people in the world who do. So it must be special, plus she likes the Godfather Part 3 and you do too. Just like that couple on the adverts.

You leave the restaurant, you walk her home, she invites you up for a coffee and…you refuse. WTF!? If you refuse then you deserve to get what this guy gets. Waiting’s for losers and people born in the 1950s.